So does God really provide for us or do we provide for ourselves? Providing for yourself is something we take very seriously in western culture.
I have been waking up during the night, unable to get back to sleep. It's unusual for me. I was reminded of Jacob who wrestled with God all night. Is this God waking me up to pray, I wonder? I decide to test that theory. I get up and ask God - what's next, where will the money come from, what's going on with the food business, will John get work? I feel like Jacob wrestling all night. Have I made God up? Is this my imagination?
The next morning an important food business contact had sent me an email, after weeks of no contact. She wants to do breakfast tomorrow. Then 10 days of consulting work were given to me - without my seeking it. Immediate Income. I also had a job interview for a part time role and I'm being immediately progressed to round two.
I don't like living from one day to the next, I like a bit more of a buffer. Yet a buffer can also prevent me from asking for what I need and from seeing how I am connected to everything. Its any wonder that when so much value is placed on self reliance, God is a foreigner.
it's always fascinating to me how we spiritualise 'ask and you shall receive' and yet Jesus was addressing people who were concerned about basic material needs. My family has often received material gifts when we most needed them, even as basic as a bag of handmedowns right when everything is wearing out. But waiting and trusting that the bag will come is hard work; so much easier to rush off to target! ali.
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