Yesterday I ran a workshop for a senior Leadership team. In the morning, before I left, I had been feeling stressed about doing a good job and getting more work, because after yesterday I had no more confirmed work.
So, I physically bowed down and said "God, I surrender, I need work, I give this day and this workshop and my life to you".
It went really well, it was constructive and productive, the participants raved about it as the best day's work they'd ever done together. They we're very complimentary towards me. And then guess what happened. They asked me back to run another day next week. Another day of confirmed work. An answer to prayer?
Don't get me wrong, I get how bizarre it sounds to bow down and surrender. In fact even though I just wrote it, when I read it, it sounds at best submissive and at worst abusive. Yet I cannot deny there is something about surrendering my own will to something greater that is unbelievably freeing and liberating and, well how do I describe it, "aligned". After doing this I am now free to be the real me, not the competing, insecure, self absorbed me. And when one person is truly free from competing and one upmanship, it frees everyone around them. The benefits rolled on. The people around me in the workshop were alive, animated and excited. I had an amazing time with my kids last night. So much human connection.
So have I participated in an extreme bizarre antiquated form of ritual submission, or could it be that this act just makes me aware of what I'm worshipping? Could it be that we are always bowing down and submitting to something, it's just that most of the time we aren't even aware of what it is? Some things, when surrendered to, definately would be abusive.
This weekend I'm going to listen for what am I really worshipping, what do I really bow down to, is it security, control, power, wealth, popularity, privilege? Or is it love, which is God? And then I'm going to watch the impact on others of what I give myself to. Maybe you can join me on this quest.
